User blog:CrystalNeonSummerSnow/My Sudden Disappearance

Wow, I was gone for a few days, wasn't I? Deepest apologies about that. I was really busy with the Easter Resurrection sermon at church Sunday and trying to cure my writer's block. Yeah, the Stunningly Sinister Crystal (the first XD) has been stricken with writer's block, and a unique kind. I mean, I'm plotting at breakneck speed, but writing it out is the problem. So that means it'll be a while before Alive is finished (I have to try and finish it because a friend who's moving away is begging for me to finish it), before Never Too Late is rewritten before posted, and before the prologue for Bound is published.

And here's two more terrible things: I'll completely disappear for next week and I feel hated at school for the most part.

Maybe I should explain the hated part: I broke up with my abusive boyfriend and I'm getting subtly teased. No, my ex didn't beat me before... at least, not all the time; he was abusive towards me emotionally and mentally. I felt more like his babysitter than his girlfriend, in all honesty I can retain. Sure, I stayed with him because I thought that he was just acting immature (I'm 13, soon to be 14, and he's 12, soon to be 13; I'm a year older than him. XP). However, he has ADHD, as well, and I have Asperger's Syndrome (a type of autism) so I cut him a break. However, 2 weeks ago, our relationship became living in Holy Hell. He took advantage of me and my money, he acts up in every class and I'm gulty by association, and when we're seperated, he glared at me as if it's all my fault. Now here's why I dumped him: in writing rotation, we had to compose an essay on our problems and solutions, and his problem was me. Yeah, me! Sorry if I'm sounding selfishly whiny, but you will not believe what he wrote about me. He said that I was a terrible girlfriend, that I'm too proud and stubborn and loud to listen to him, and that he fears that if he dumps me, I'll commit suicide. Yeah, that was really screwed up.

I tearfully told my BFF (the one that's moving), and she got really angry. Lemme just say this, she's not the girl you should mess with. She'll curse you out and report you to the higher authority, if that angry. And she did that to him. We told the principal and she was definitely stunned about what he did, because we usually thought he was the first one to hug and support me. She promised to do something about it and I broke up with him. And he gave me the "hate stare", as in it looked like it was all my fault. And he's tearfully been begging for me to take him back the week after that, but I refused all the time. I crushed the flowers he gave me, I merely smirked at his tears, and retorted at any pathetic reason he had for our relationship. He said that since his mother's been having unhealthy stress levels lately, he's paranoid that she's gonna die and that his father and stepparents'll disown him. He then said that if she dies, it'll be my fault. Angered, I said, "No, the reason she'll die is because she has a little Satan for a son".

As for the teasing part, this girl in school that's in writing rotation has been laughing at both my writing, calling it "stupid" and "a mistake", and my lack of athletic skills. She's quiet and not the posh kind, but she thinks she so... I'll go ahead and say it, she thinks she the freakin' queen of everything. Also, this obnoxious jock was yelling at me because I'm not good and that I'm "barely trying", when sweat was rolling down my back so much, I could feel seep past waistband of my shorts. His team even offered to trade me over to the other team, which was terribly against it, but the female coach in there ordered for some patience and threatened that we'll do exercises throughout the rest of the gym period. The jock glared at me as I went to the locker room.

Don't you ever find it frustrating that you do the best you can and give a lot of heart into something, yet some random douchebags did nothing to don't think it's enough? It's screwed!

Now, for the disappearance thing, allow me to explain that: next week, we'll be leaving for a D.C. trip that 7th and 8th graders have each other year. My father's tagging along, so he's gonna keep an eye on the people that are giving me trouble. Like all fathers, never mess with Father; he'll lower his eyes into slits, speak in a louder voice, and stroke his beard. That's the true powerful look of a lawyer. Well, we do have a dance comming up this week, so maybe, if I'm lucky, it'll be a blast.

Well, I'll really have to make up for it, so here's some randomly sinister stuff. XP (Note: the comment section will be closed until I've got all the sinister stuff I need to make you guys comfortable when I'm gone).

Sinister Pics


This was photographed by a dA user inspired by the Darren Aronofsky movie Requiem for a Dream (also based off a novel). In the movie, it featured 4 people that are trying to make dreams out of smoking weed, shooting dope (heroin), and guzzling pills. Eventually, they're all lost in misery and devastated by reality. The blackish blue mark represents a character in the movie who's arm was amputated because of too much heroin; the gun represents their dreams shot and killed by their irrelevent desperations; the syringes represent the dope, obviously; the beetle... I'm just gonna guess that that means they're the bugs and drugs are the feet that crushes them in the end.



How is this sinister, you ask? Well, think of it in this way: the 2012 thing is revealed to be real, and all of the earth is destroyed. However... this one tree remains. This one tree is actually proven vital; if there's life, there's hope. And hope is all humanity needs to strive. Of course, I have full disbelief in the 2012 myth, but this is just a thought.



Sure, this merely looks like a biker tattoo pic, but I see a subtle Biblic symbolism in this pic. Remember the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis? Y'know, the story where the serpent convinces them to eat the apples God forbid them from eating? Well, to me, any kind of snake represents death for it's sly and shrewd nature. Animals in the sinister family represent death. A raven, a lion, a spider, anything frightening, honestly.



''This is the manifesto of Mother Monster: On G.O.A.T., a Government-Owned Alien Territory in space, a birth of magnificent and magical proportions took place. But the birth was not finite. It was infinite. As the wombs numbered and the mitosis of the future began, it was perceived that this infamous moment in life was not temporal, it was eternal. And thus began the the beginning of the new race, a race within the race of humanity, a race which bears no prejudice, no judgement, but boundless freedom. But on that same day, as the eternal mother hovered in the mulitverse, another more terrifying birth took place: the birth of evil. And as she herself split into two, rotating in agony between two ultimate forces, the pendulum of choice began its dance. It seems easy, you imagine, to gravitate instantly and unwaveringly towards good. But she wondered, how can I protect something so perfect without evil?''

Sorry, that was from Lady Gaga's music video Born This Way. I must admit, I do like the narrative and idea, however the song is unrelated. Yet, just imagine it: a woman, born for butterflies and flowers dancing in the wind as the coda of hope began, torn between the that and the gravitation of evil. You can tell on the woman's face that she's torn between her purpose (the chained web representing that) and her temptation (the skull representing that).



Have you ever strived so hard, struggled through the dance of journey's backlash, just to realize that some treasures are only myths? Well, the Fountain of Youth is a perfect example. In the 16th century, conquistador Juan Ponce de León came to America, trying to prove the Fountain of Youth was real. While faliure's laughter boomed over his inclined skull, the Darren Aronofsky movie The Fountain pictured the mythical fountain in such vivid scenery detail. I couldn't help but add beauty to such a sinister goodbye.



Sure, whenever we think of mermaids, we think Ariel and Disney and ♪Under the Sea♫ and all that jazz. Well, The Little Mermaid was actually based off of a Danish fairy tale Hans Christian Andersen. Wanna know the real story? No? Too late, it's sinister.

The Little Mermaid lives in an underwater kingdom with her father the sea king; her grandmother; and her five elder sisters, each born one year apart. When a mermaid turns 15, she is allowed to swim to the surface to watch the world above, and as the sisters become old enough, one of them visits the surface every year. As each of them returns, the Little Mermaid listens longingly to their various descriptions of the surface and of human beings.

When the Little Mermaid's turn comes, she ventures to the surface, sees a ship with a handsome prince, and falls in love with him from a distance. A great storm hits, and the Little Mermaid saves the prince from a near-drowning. She delivers him unconscious to the shore near a temple. Here she waits until a young girl from the temple finds him. The prince never sees the Little Mermaid.

The Little Mermaid asks her grandmother whether humans can live forever if they do not drown. The grandmother explains that humans have a much shorter lifespan than merfolk's 300 years, but that when mermaids die they turn to sea foam and cease to exist, while humans have an eternal soul that lives on in Heaven. The Little Mermaid, longing for the prince and an eternal soul, eventually visits the Sea Witch, who sells her a potion that gives her legs, in exchange for her tongue (as the Little Mermaid has the most intoxicating voice in the world). The Sea Witch warns, however, that once she becomes a human, she will never be able to return to the sea. Drinking the potion will make her feel as if a sword is being passed through her, yet when she recovers she will have two beautiful legs, and will be able to dance like no human has ever danced before. However, it will constantly feel like she is walking on sharp swords, and her feet will bleed most terribly. In addition, she will only get a soul if she finds true love's kiss and if the prince loves her and marries her, for then a part of his soul will flow into her. Otherwise, at dawn on the first day after he marries another woman, the Little Mermaid will die brokenhearted and disintegrate into sea foam.

The Little Mermaid drinks the potion and meets the prince, who is attracted to her beauty and grace even though she is mute. Most of all he likes to see her dance, and she dances for him despite her excruciating pain. When the prince's father orders his son to marry the neighboring king's daughter, the prince tells the Little Mermaid he will not, because he does not love the princess. He goes on to say he can only love the young woman from the temple, who he believes rescued him, but adds that the Little Mermaid is beginning to take the temple girl's place in his heart. It turns out that the princess is the temple girl, who had been sent to the temple to be educated. The prince loves her and the wedding is announced.

The prince and princess marry, and the Little Mermaid's heart breaks. She thinks of all that she has given up and of all the pain she has suffered. She despairs, thinking of the death that awaits her, but before dawn, her sisters bring her a knife that the Sea Witch has given them in exchange for their long hair. If the Little Mermaid slays the prince with the knife and lets his blood drip on her feet, she will become a mermaid again, all her suffering will end and she will live out her full life.

The Little Mermaid cannot bring herself to kill the sleeping prince lying with his bride and, as dawn breaks, throws herself into the sea. Her body dissolves into foam, but instead of ceasing to exist, she feels the warmth of the sun; she has turned into a spirit, a daughter of the air. The other daughters of the air tell her she has become like them because she strove with all her heart to gain an eternal soul. She will earn her own soul by doing good deeds, and she will eventually rise up into the kingdom of God .

Yeah, they didn't have names like Ariel or Eric or Ursula; they just had The Little Mermaid, The Prince, and The Sea Witch. Should I feel evil that I like this version better than the movie? Nah.



Yeah, this isn't you're typical bridezilla. This isn't the one who's all "I didn't ask for that frosting!" or "That table cover is hideous!". This is the bridezilla who you should never stand up at the altar. Because if you do... well, I think the picture says it all. They should seriously make a movie based on that. Maybe the premise could be some bride's stood up and decides to cut not just the cake. The tagline should be Don't break her heart.



Yeah, she's my mythological idol. She's intelligent, strong, chaste, almost like me. I even dressed up as her once; yeah, hope that didn't sound awkward. Anyways, had to put her up here. Why is she sinister? She turned Medusa into a gorgon. Yeah... sad, but cool!



I know I should've provided a picture of Lilith (aka The Angel of Death) on her bio, but I couldn't be able to draw if it could save my life. But, this is a pic of a vampress that looks similar to Lilith, albeit no glowing red eyes, bouncy fire for hair, and thorns encircling every piece of creamy skin. Still, you can tell just by looking at a woman with that face that she's trouble. Just like Lilith! :)



I feel a special story coming on... I dunno what the premise'll be, but I will reupload it in the future with a special silvery black title. :)



Also part of a future story. Still, the scenery for this is both simple and mysterious. You never know what lurks behind those misty white clouds of Demeter's icy sorrow (the reference is that Hades abducted Demeter's daughter and she refused to let anything grow on Earth until she's reunited with her). Still, makes you think, doesn't it?



You don't have much clarity and cheer when you have a broken heart, do you? Well, I guess you could dare say this was the manifesto of my heart once I dumped my BF. There's me solemnly walking on one side and his house on the other. It's representing how I try to forget about him, but at the same time the chains of my deepest betrayal link me back to anguish. Yeah, pretty heavy stuff, but you should expect it from a hopeless romantic like me.



The nighttime stars always fascinated me in ways. I mean, don't you ever consider their reflections in the water a signal to smile, or better yet a reason to. Don't you ever wish to float unwaveringly to them, as if Jacob's ladder? I do. They're just so beautiful, as if staring into my true love's eyes. However, I don't have a true love yet, so the stars are giving me hope, at least.

Okay, I think that's enough random sinister pictures, but I have more sinister stuff comin', I promise!

Sinister Trailers
Don't expect anything different; they're just trailers of Darren Aronofsky's movies in chronological order.

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Pi -- Pi is about a man named Max Cohen, who is obsessed with mathematics and believes that everything can only be understood through numbers. As a result, he becomes mezmerizingly ﻿paranoid. One day, his calculations of stock markets on his computer randomly prints out a 216-digit number and his Jewish friend believes that the Torah has a mathematical message sent from God. Believing that the 216-digit code is linked with the Torah, Max tries to come up with the perfect code to help the stock market. However, he learns that mathematics can even lead to chaos...

thumb|300px|right Requiem for a Dream -- Based on the best-selling novel, Requiem for a Dream follows the story of 4 people: Sara Goldfarb, a woman who takes diet pills to restore her youthful look when appearing on television; Harry Goldfarb, a man who believes that selling drugs will help him and his friends make a fortune; Marion Silver, Harry's girlfriend and heroin addict like him who is willing to help him; and Tyrone Love, another heroin/cocaine/weed addict who's in on the plan, too. However, each character realizes that reality is the backlash with drugs.

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The Fountain -- The Fountain is about 3 men in seperate time periods who are striving to help the women they love: a conquistador named Thomas who's trying to find the Elixer of Immortality for a queen he loves, a neuroscientist named Tommy who's trying to find a cure for the tumor killing his wife, and a space traveler named Tom who's trying to bring back the spirit of his deceased wife. 3 men linked and 3 women linked, all because of the Fountain of Youth. While the plot lacks ambition, if visual effects win you over, have at it with this movie.

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The Wrestler -- With a heartfelt performance from Mickey Rouke, The Wrestler is about Randy "The Ram" Johnson, an aging wrestler who retires when a heart attack nearly kills him during a hardcore match. Whilst going through mid life crisis, he tries to get more hours at the deli, find romance with a stripper at a club, and make ammends with his daughter whom he abandoned as a child. While not a psychological thriller, it's definitely Darren Aronofsky's best work, even better than Black Swan.

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Black Swan -- Being a companion piece to The Wrestler, Black Swan glides back on Darren's frightening intensity in thrillers. Staring Natalie Portman, the movie centers on Nina Sayers, a ballerina dancing the lead in an alternative version of Swan Lake. However, with the struggle of being perfect, everything begins to collapse into ruin ever so slowly...

Okay, now I have questions for you guys about the trailers: Which one was the best? Worst? Which one would you wanna see first?

Sinister Coda
Okay, well, I think I've done enough for this blog, but I do have one more thing to leave before I'm off: a little song called ﻿Lux Æterna (Latin for The Eternal Light), composed for the Requiem for a Dream soundtrack by Clint Mansell. Before I leave, I know I should answer this: Why are you doing this, Crystal? Because I know you guys find me vital to SFF Wiki because I'm at least the only girl user with the darkest POV of everything, and I don't want you guys thrown into a panic. I'm not leaving because I'm mad, I'm not leaving becuase I'm quitting, I'm only leaving for a week. Still, thanks for listening.

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